Think AF is on the way!

I think AF is on the way but I am surprisingly ok about it this time. I had a really good talk with dh last night after I got another negative result with a first response. He believes that we will have another child one day be it in a month (yes please!!) 10 months or 10 years (please god don't make me wait that long!!)

I thought AF had started first thing this morning but it seems to have stopped again but am off to the doctor's anyway later this afternoon as I have a strange rash at the bottom of both my legs that has been getting more and more itchy and is starting to drive me made wanting to scratch. It is the same doc that prescribed me the clomid so hopefully can have a chat about that too whilst I'm there and see how its going.

Will update later this evening anyway as going out now.

Day 26 of Month 2 on Clomid

Today I have very sore (.Y.) which I don't usually get when I am awaiting af. I remember that's what gave me a big hint that I was pregnant with Ellie. I have also been absolutely shattered for about the last week now and have been in bed by 9pm each night and asleep within minutes. I've also been having very strange dreams lately. If I normally dream then I never remember them usually but at the moment I seem to be having very realistic ones.

DH said the other night my legs were shaking so much whilst I was asleep he thought I was having a dream. I asked why he didn't wake me up and he said he didn't incase it was a nice dream. It wasn't! I was having a nightmare about snakes!! So would have been more than happy to have been woken up.

I had a dream last night that we were going to New Zealand for a week (yeah like you'd fly half way across the world for a week's holiday!!) and I was nearly at the airport and I realised that I had left dh and the kids behind!! I was distraught and had to go back for them!!

I really hope that my body isn't playing tricks on me and that I am pregnant. I am holding off til tomorrow at the earliest before I do another test. Do you think that's long enough to wait? I did a first response on Sunday morning and that was a BFN!! If I can last I'll try and wait til Thursday but will see if I can last that long.

Tomorrow I am taking the kids to our local theatre to see two performances of the 'Horrible Histories'. In the morning we will be watching 'The Frightful First World War' and then in the evening (hopefully I can stay awake long enough!) to see 'The Woeful Second World War'. They are really looking forward to it.

DH asked me earlier what I would do if I found out I was pregnant now and I said I'd run around the house screaming with joy!! His answer was he'd be the happiest man in the world. He says he really can't wait for us to have another so please god if you're listening please make our dreams come true!!

So tired at the moment!!

I've felt completely knackered the last couple of days. We did have a lovely walk round the Wyre Estuary Country Park yesterday with some local home educators and I know the kids enjoyed it too. I was shattered last night though and in bed for 9.30pm then I woke up at 1am as I was too hot and dh was sat in bed watching tv so had to open window to cool down. Eventually dropped off to sleep again before waking at 7.45am this morning. Its been a similar pattern the last few days too. Even now I'm yawning already.

Going to Preston shopping tomorrow which I'm looking forward to as dh said he will buy me a pressie!!

I am wondering if I am getting hot flushes from the Clomid or is it just that the weather has been milder in the last few days. I've been regularly waking up the last few nights boiling hot and have turned our heating down too as I was just too hot getting up in the mornings.

My boobs have been a little sore and I have felt a little queasy after lunch but I have to keep repeating to myself 'I will not get my hopes up!!' I think I will cope better this month though if AF shows up as I expect she will.

I was thinking last night how lucky we are to have Josh and Ellie. I couldn't imagine our lives without them!! They bring us so much joy. It still doesn't take away though the longing I feel for another child! I know that the kids are both hoping we have another baby too. I just hope it happens soon!! I'm so impatient but I feel positive that it will happen even if it takes a couple of years or more(please god please let it be just a few months!!)

I am still holding up to my resolve not to test before next Wednesday if no signs of AF. I might get a couple more tests in Preston tomorrow as First Response are buy one get one free in boots and superdrug so might use that as an excuse to buy another pack for the future.

Not much hope this month

I'm not holding out much hope this month. What with dh getting a dental abscess and him being in agony much of the prime time of the month. So far we only managed to babydance twice last Sunday, twice Wednesday, once Saturday, Once Sunday. Its so difficult when we babydanced for England last month but this month have been more tired and also dh's abscess.

I'm now on day 18 and last month's cycle was only 25 days. Previously AF's had been very erractic with the timings. I am determined that to avoid the heartache of last month I will not do a pregnancy test until day 28 at the earliest if there is no sign of AF and I got sore (.)(.)!! We will see anyway but I am not getting my hopes up anything like as much this month so hopefully I won't be heading for a fall again!!

Spent last night in agony!!

I had a very strange pain late last night on my left hand side around my ovaries that felt like the worst stitch I had ever had!! I was in agony with it. It was also around my lower back.

I managed to crawl upstairs to the bathroom and the pain was so bad I felt sick. Vic wanted to phone an ambulance but I wouldn't let him although I did think gas and air would be a good idea at that point to take the edge off the pain!! I eventually managed to get into bed as I suddenly felt all cold and shivery and finally the pain eased enough for me to get some sleep.

I feel a lot better today thankfully. The area still aches a little but will see how I go on today. Not sure if it was ovulation pain or Clomid causing it but I've never known pain as bad as that. I would go as far as to say the pain was worse than childbirth although my labours with Josh and Ellie have both been pretty good and in labour I see the pain as a positive thing taking me closer and closer to meeting my baby but last night was torture.

Oh well its an excuse to take things easy today anyway.

Day 14 and Not much bd so far!!

Dh has a huge abscess and will probably spend most of the night sat up downstairs watching tv. Annoyingly, he wouldn't go to the emergency dentist tonight so is now in agony with it so he won't sleep much tonight and probably not me either as I hate sleeping in bed without him!!

So I can't really pounce on him tonight when I am wondering if I am ov'ing or not. Its day 14 so was really hoping to get lots in over these next few days. We managed it twice last night (lucky me lol!!) but am not holding out for any for the next day or two so am hoping his boys are good swimmers lol!!

A big fall!!

Despite being determined not to get my hopes up about possibly being pregnant I couldn't help it and had let myself get all dreamy about it and even imagining how to tell dh so I set myself up for an almighty fall, and fall I did!!

On Friday morning, day 25, I went to town and ended up buying a twin pack of first response pregnancy tests. I had been determined not to test til day 29 at the earliest but the advert on the pack saying it could pick up to six days early made me fall for it.

I did the test in Marks & Spencers as I couldn't wait to get home. Unfortunately it was negative, so I was a little gutted but wondered if perhaps it had been too early to test so tried to hold onto that hope but was totally gutted when on Friday night AF arrived with avengence. I spent much of Friday night and Saturday either in tears or close to it. Sunday morning I had to ring the emergency doctors as it was the worst AF I've had in a long time and everytime I moved it was terrible. I got prescibed some tablets which after 24 hours finally kicked in so I could go with dh and the kids to visit my mother in law in Stoke on Tuesday.

I still feel a bit disappointed but am mostly worried that the Clomid isn't helping me ovulate and am worried it won't work. I have to go back to the doctor's after month 3 if I'm not pregnant by then and he will look to see if he needs to up the dose.

It's our 7th wedding anniversary on Saturday (Valentine's Day) so it is giving me something to look forward to. I'm now on Month 2, day 7 so will definitely not be getting my hopes up too much this month.