Did a test

I did a cheapie pregnancy test this morning even though I knew it would be negative and it was. I don't feel as bad as I thought about more just disappointed that yet again I have failed.

I just want af to arrive now so I can get on with Month 4 on the Clomid. I'm going to phone the doctor's later this afternoon to see if my progesterone results are back yet as I have had my other results but not for progesterone which is a bit strange. Will have to chase it up so I can compare it to December's result. I wonder whether they forgot to test for it even though it was requested. Strange. Will update again later if I get the results.

Fingers crossed for Month 4. Gonna throw everything I've got at it!!

Relaxing tonight

I am hoping to have a relaxing evening tonight after a stressful week. Dh went to the shop early and bought some beer so I might join him in a shandy or two later. He also bought chocolate too so he is in my good books at the moment lol.

I am going to try not to even think or worry about ttc for the next couple of days til AF shows up. I am certain AF will turn up on Tuesday so just want to get cracking with next month now.

I am thinking of getting some clear blue digital ovulation tests so I don't have to worry about comparing lines and I will hopefully know if I ov. Might have a look on ebay next week see if there is any on there.

Had enough of Moaning!!

I just want to apologise to anyone reading this for moaning and ranting so much this last few days. My moods have been all over the place. One minute I'm up and the next I come crashing back down. I think I need to chill out a bit more and try and relax about it all and say to myself lots - "It will happen!!"

I think an afternoon kip is coming on as I can barely keep my eyes open at the moment as I was up at 6am so am shattered now. Just got to wait for DH to get back from the shops and can go for a lie down.

Spoke to Doctor!!

Finally got my blood results back and the doctor is happy that my hormones are much improved and he thinks I am producing eggs so am relieved about that. I am to carry on with Clomid 50mg for the time being though. I really hoped he was going to up it to 100mg but no.

He still hasn't had my progesterone results back yet though so can't compare that to see if I definitely ovulated but the doctor sounded very positive.

He was very concerned about my severe anaemia though as 8.0 is very low and he wants to investigate this further with more blood tests to check things out as he said I am severely anaemic and he is not happy my iron levels being so low.

So fingers crossed that I did ov this month but missed it on the opk's. Just have to wait and see. Got no symptoms other than sore (.Y.), tiredness and dizziness if I move to fast but that's probably from being so anaemic!!

I just want to be pregnant now aarrgghh!!!!!!!!

Fingers crossed!!

Still Waiting for Doctor to Phone!!

I've been sat here since 6am firstly waiting for a parcel and then for my doctor to phone to discuss my blood results. Aaarrgghh!! I am not doing patience very well today. I just want to know my progesterone results and move onto next month!!

I have been trying not to get so frustrated but it is so hard. I really hoped 2009 would be our year when we would hold another Baby K in our arms and its not happening. All my positive mental attitude walked out of the door along with my iron!!

DH has decided to set up in business again here as he was getting fed up being stuck in the house all day. I was really looking forward to enjoying lots of family days out in the Summer but he will be working 7 days a week from the end of May till the beginning of November and weekends from the 4th April. I know the extra money will come in useful but I just hope we do ok as we have invested a fair wedge of our savings into it and can't afford for it to fail. He is going to be making photo canvas prints and selling them. I really hope it works!!

Got some of my blood results back!!

CD 22

This post is in 2 parts as one I had typed out earlier and saved to draft and then I phoned the doctor's and got my blood results later this afternoon.

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God I'm feeling like such an idiot!!

I though my opk sticks were positive last thursday and friday but have just been looking at the instructions again and as the test line was not as dark as the control line it would appear that they were still negative.

I am pretty gutted as that means another month where I haven't ovulated. I should get the rest of my blood results back either later today or tomorrow which should confirm that my stupid body is still not ovulating.

At least if this is confirmed then the doctor will hopefully up my dose of Clomid so I can go onto 100mg rather than the 50mg I've been taking.

I've been reading around a bit about Clomid and wonder what is the point in starting us on 50mg if it almost certainly won't work.

Sorry for this ranty post. I think I will phone the surgery this afternoon and see if my results are back and then I can make an appointment to see my doctor to discuss the results before AF is due to start on Tuesday.

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Well got part of my blood results today. Still don't know the progesterone results so still in the dark over whether they have improved since December or not. They were 2 then and apparently they are supposed to be over 30.

Anyway these are the results I do have:

TSH - 1.83
FSH - 3.3
LH - 3.2
Prolactin - 141

From what I can tell by googling them these are normal but am not sure about LH whether that should have been higher or not as it was a cd 21 blood test.

The receptionist said that the doctor wanted to discuss the results but there are no appointments with him for a week and a half so he is going to phone me tomorrow morning and discuss the next step. I am assuming that he will increase my dose of Clomid to 100mg.

Just want AF to show up on time on Tuesday so I can crack on with the next cycle and fingers crossed it will be our turn next month!!

I'm Anaemic!!

I got an unexpected phone call early this afternoon from my doctor's surgery to tell me that my Haemoglobin levels were 8.0 and apparently they should be at least 11.5. Apparently the pathology lab at the hospital phoned to tell them my result as it was so low and as its Wednesday afternoon there are no doctors at the surgery so the receptionist told me I had to go to A & E at the hospital as a 'matter of urgency!'

I was a bit taken aback as I knew that I was probably anaemic but didn't expect it to be quite so bad. So me and dh went straight to the hospital leaving the kids with my sister (sometimes it can come in very handy her living next door!!) and we got there. Thankfully it wasn't very busy so didn't have to long to wait before I was seen.

The doctor debated whether to give me a blood transfusion or iron tablets. Thankfully my obs were ok and normal so have got away with a month's supply of iron tablets. I had to have a blood transfusion after I had Josh and I felt so much better for it. I am hoping the iron tablets kick in and help rebuild my iron levels quickly so I will feel better. I have felt so drained and worn out this last couple of months but hopefully now things will start to improve.

Dh is being a complete darl looking after me and insisted that I went for a lie down when we got back and is waiting on me hand and foot as he has realised that when I say I am too tired to go somewhere its not cos I don't want to go but more cos I am feeling knackered!! Just got to wait for the rest of my blood results now which should be in tomorrow so fingers crossed they are good!!

21 day bloods!!

CD 21

I went and got my 21 day bloods repeated this morning. I really hope I get a much better result than last time in December. My progesterone levels were only 2 and the doctor said that they should have been closer to 30!! I am feeling positive about things though.

I don't have much in the way of signs yet and am trying not to get my hopes up for this month. My (.Y.) are very sensitive though and can't bear dh being near them. I'm also feeling hungry all the time nearly but that is probably just me being greedy lol!!

I should have the results tomorrow or Friday so fingers crossed they're good. I'll also find out if I'm anaemic. I am so not looking forward to iron tablets if I have to have them!!

Fingers crossed for this month!!

CD 18

I have my fingers crossed now and hope and pray that we are successful this month. I am thinking of testing next Sunday with the cheapie ebay pregnancy tests when I would be 8/9 days past ovulation (based on the OPK's if I did indeed ovulate!) Not sure if it might be a tad early to test then but have 5 cheapie tests and 2 first response so reckon on doing one every other day either til AF shows up or I get a +ve!!

I have my positive mental attitude and I am trying to relax about it all as much as I can. I wish I could be like dh and be so relaxed about it all. If he was any more relaxed about it he'd be asleep lol! (He's having a snooze on the sofa as I type lol!) But I can't completely relax as getting pregnant is pretty much all I can think about. I know that we are sooooo lucky to have our two already and I love them so much and couldn't imagine life without them but that longing and aching for another baby has been there a long time and as time goes on it aches more and more!!

Happy Mothers Day to all mums and mums to be and baby dust to future parents ttc xxxx

Back to Negative OPKs Today!!

CD 17

Well, yesterday I had a second faint positive OPK. I compared it to Thursday's OPK and it was identical. I was hoping to jump dh last night but we had arranged to meet up with his brothers and it involved him drinking rather too much and it was nearly 1am when we got home and we were both shattered so we just went to sleep.

I also got what I can only assume are ovulation pains yesterday afternoon. It was a stitch like pain in the ovary area. I had a similar pain on exactly the same CD last month so I am assuming it is ov pains. Will see though when I have my blood test done.

I did another OPK this morning and that was back to being negative (just 1 line) so I think the LH surge has passed now and I am on the 2 week wait. Hopefully we have done enough this month but I am trying hard not to get my hopes up at all. I feel as though I am moving in the right direction at least though finally!!

I am feeling more positive about things than a few days ago thankfully. Hopefully when I go for my blood test on Wednesday it will show a rise in my Progesterone levels. We will see then I suppose.

A Faint Positive OPK!!

CD 15

Yes!! Got a faint positive on my OPK this afternoon!! Yipee!! I am heading in the right direction at last!!

I wasn't going to bother doing an OPK today as I have just had negatives so far with only one line showing but today I got two. The result line is fainter than the test line but hopefully tomorrow I will get a darker line.

I have added a picture below anyway and fingers crossed will get a darker line tomorrow.



We've babydanced lots already this month including 3 out of the last 4 nights and so will carry on tonight and then if I get a darker line tomorrow will grab dh at least twice to babydance during the day lol!! At least it feels like we are taking a step in the right direction at long last so fingers crossed!!

Still Negative OPKs

CD 14

Still negatives on OPK and AF is due in 13 days so not holding out much hope at all now. I just want to get my blood test over with next Wednesday and get the results of that so the doctor will up my dosage of Clomid and hopefully next month will be our month.

I am feeling absolutely exhausted and had a horrible headache yesterday but feel a bit better today but still tired.

At least this month I won't need to waste any pregnancy tests.

Negative OPK's So Far!!

CD 13

Starting to worry now I still haven't had a +ve OPK test yet. My last 2 cycles have been 26 and 27 days so starting to think that the last 3 months have been a waste of time and I am still not ovulating.

I am having my 21 day bloods redone a week tomorrow so will find out for definite then. I suppose at least my doctor can increase the dose of Clomid and that might help things but what if it doesn't.

There is only a limited amount of time you can take clomid for so I feel that if I'm still not ovulating then it is a waste of 3 months and I will ask to be monitored next cycle to make sure it works.

I know that I could still OV this cycle but not holding out much hope!! Sorry this is a bit of negative post.

On a slightly better note have made up a little with my family. Still not talking to my brother though. Hopefully they won't be interfering as much as they usually do from now on!!

Psychic Prediction!!

I read on a ttc forum about Jenny Renny and I decided to have a reading. It cost $8 and this is what my reading said:

"Your reading reveals that your BFP news comes the month of April. The baby shows as a boy and his EDD/birthdate is referenced the month of January 2010 - specific reference to the 10th."

So we will see if this is right next month.

I would love to get pregnant this month though. I have been doing OPKs since yesterday and they are negative so far as expected. I hope to get a positive by Wednesday otherwise I doubt I am ovulating but am not too worried as if not the doctor will up my dose of Clomid after my day 21 blood tests if it shows I'm not ovulating if this is the case so April could be my month instead.

AF is due on 31st March so fingers crossed for this month. Or failing that next month. I would love to be holding our new baby by Christmas.

I hope I haven't much longer to wait for a BFP. DH and I were talking earlier and have agreed (but I reserve the right to change my mind lol) that should things not work out with the Clomid then we won't take things further as in going down the IVF route. DH doesn't want us to put ourselves or the kids through it so fingers crossed the Clomid works. I am a bit scared of it too but hopefully everything will be ok.

Sending lots of babydust to everyone ttc xx

Ordered OPKs

I have been naughty and ordered some OPKs of ebay. Hopefully they should arrive with the post today and then I can start using them from tomorrow. I'm currently on cd 9 so probably a little early to start but don't want to miss it if I am ovulating. At the very least it should satisfy my poas addiction much more cheaply then buying first response all the time!!

Am having my blood test a week on Wednesday so that will confirm then whether I am ovulating or not and if not then I think the doctor will up the dose of Clomid.

The plan is to do lots of babydancing this month in the hope it works as I'd love to be holding our baby by Christmas.

I haven't heard from any of my family since Monday. So we're still not speaking. I haven't the energy to worry about it. I seem to be in a cycle at the moment of waking at 7am and by 9pm I am ready for bed and am exhausted. Fortunately the last few nights when I've gone to bed so has dh.

Fingers crossed I ov this month anyway.

A Normal Cycle at last!!

AF finished today so lasted 5 days and was not even a fraction as heavy as last month, or come to think of it any month in the last 2 years lol. It was just like what a 'normal' af should be so hopefully that means the Clomid is helping sort things out again plus I have been trying to be healthier and eating more fruit and veg and drinking more water and also doing a lot more walking too.

Looking forward to getting lots of babydancing done this month and fingers crossed it will be a good month.

Have had a major falling out with my family over the last few days. It started as an arguement with my younger brother on Friday and has escalated into a huge row where everyone has sided with him and no one can see him for the arrogant t*at that he is!! Then again he has always been the baby of the family and the perfect son who can do no wrong but has been cheating on his girlfriend for at least the last 4 months. The arguement was originally about him giving us a lift to the dentist last friday. I never asked for a lift he offered and then he turned all moody and started going on at me about buying a car so he doesn't have to take me. I pointed out I never asked for a lift and he went on and on and started swearing with the kids in the back of the car. I told him to let me and the kids out but he wouldn't stop for us to get out and by the time we got to the dentist I was in tears and the kids were comforting me. Dh found out about and offered to go round and 'sort him out' but managed to persuade him not to as dh is 5'6 and my brother is 6'4 and huge!!

My sister lives next door and has sent me emails today accusing me of ruining her birthday because I have said we won't be attending her birthday party in 2 weeks time. She's like a big kid. She slammed her car door and front door when she got home and she has her tv on full blast too at the moment but am not bothered. Going out in a bit for a pint with dh whilst we wait for Ellie at rainbows.

So am looking forward to moving hopefully asap now as my family are driving me nuts. If they are not arguing they are interfering and I can't be doing with it anymore. I am sick and tired of it. Dh's brother has just moved back into his caravan at Marton Mere (still in Blackpool) so might see if we can go and stay for a few days and have a little break.

Onto Month 3

Well AF has started properly now so officially on CD 1 of Month 3 on Clomid.

I went to the doctor's this afternoon and he seemed to think I was anaemic as he said I look very pale and I said how shattered I had felt this last few weeks. We had a discussion of how the Clomid is going. He has given me a slip to get my 21 day bloods redone this month and also to check my iron levels.

In the meantime he wants me to eat more red meat. When he asked me if I eat red meat I stupidly replied 'yes I eat a lot of chicken!!' Duh!! I'm so stupid!! Dh was with me and was trying not to laugh and the doctor said I meant steak and beef. I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me. It was so embarrassing. Thankfully our doctor's really nice although he probably thinks I'm a bit dim now lol!!

Anyway the doctor says that as my cycle has become more regular that is a good sign that my ovaries are getting to work and so will have the 21 day bloods done again to see if its improved and if not then he can increase my clomid dose as I'm only on 50mg for days 2-6 at the moment.

I've told dh we are going at it hammer and tongue this month and he isn't complaining lol!! I will resist the urge to do opk's for this month anyway and wait and see what the blood tests say. I feel I am becoming addicted to buying pregnancy tests so it will become an even more expensive habit getting hooked on opk's as well!

Fingers (but not legs!) crossed it works this month!!

Think AF is on the way!

I think AF is on the way but I am surprisingly ok about it this time. I had a really good talk with dh last night after I got another negative result with a first response. He believes that we will have another child one day be it in a month (yes please!!) 10 months or 10 years (please god don't make me wait that long!!)

I thought AF had started first thing this morning but it seems to have stopped again but am off to the doctor's anyway later this afternoon as I have a strange rash at the bottom of both my legs that has been getting more and more itchy and is starting to drive me made wanting to scratch. It is the same doc that prescribed me the clomid so hopefully can have a chat about that too whilst I'm there and see how its going.

Will update later this evening anyway as going out now.

Day 26 of Month 2 on Clomid

Today I have very sore (.Y.) which I don't usually get when I am awaiting af. I remember that's what gave me a big hint that I was pregnant with Ellie. I have also been absolutely shattered for about the last week now and have been in bed by 9pm each night and asleep within minutes. I've also been having very strange dreams lately. If I normally dream then I never remember them usually but at the moment I seem to be having very realistic ones.

DH said the other night my legs were shaking so much whilst I was asleep he thought I was having a dream. I asked why he didn't wake me up and he said he didn't incase it was a nice dream. It wasn't! I was having a nightmare about snakes!! So would have been more than happy to have been woken up.

I had a dream last night that we were going to New Zealand for a week (yeah like you'd fly half way across the world for a week's holiday!!) and I was nearly at the airport and I realised that I had left dh and the kids behind!! I was distraught and had to go back for them!!

I really hope that my body isn't playing tricks on me and that I am pregnant. I am holding off til tomorrow at the earliest before I do another test. Do you think that's long enough to wait? I did a first response on Sunday morning and that was a BFN!! If I can last I'll try and wait til Thursday but will see if I can last that long.

Tomorrow I am taking the kids to our local theatre to see two performances of the 'Horrible Histories'. In the morning we will be watching 'The Frightful First World War' and then in the evening (hopefully I can stay awake long enough!) to see 'The Woeful Second World War'. They are really looking forward to it.

DH asked me earlier what I would do if I found out I was pregnant now and I said I'd run around the house screaming with joy!! His answer was he'd be the happiest man in the world. He says he really can't wait for us to have another so please god if you're listening please make our dreams come true!!